If the World had a Front Porch...

I love a front porch. Especially those with big rocking chairs and places to put my feet up. The porch to the left, is ours. The cushions are new and the railing is the perfect distance from the seat.

This is where I come to sit and read--lately books I've already read--and just listen to the sounds of the neighborhood. The kids playing the next street over. Someone's dog barking and causing a chorus of barks throughout the yards. Wind in the trees. It's all there.

When we were looking for houses that was my requirement--a porch. One you could make an extension of your home. One you'd be happy to sit on for hours. Steven's requirement was a garage. Luckily, we found a house with both. He gets a place for the Green Booger (an '85 Chevy truck that will definitely earn a post of its own one of these days) and I get a place for my rocking chairs.

Now, if only I could drink sweet tea, this scene would be perfect. :)

Welcome to Moe's, you Skinny Cow!

So I thought it might be a good idea to tell you about some things I have discovered to help me through this new diet. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to say diet, I'm supposed to think of this as a new way of living..a life change. Well, when someone walks by you with a box of "Hot doughnuts Now" Krispy Kremes you feel like this life decision sure does seem a lot like a DIEt. There's a reason those letters were chosen to make up that word.

I haven't had a Krispy Kreme in five weeks. I haven't had sweet tea in five weeks. I haven't had soda or Bojangles or Chick-fil-a in five weeks. And I can live with that. Because I have fallen in love. Deep, real, unhealthy love with Moe's. "Moe's?" you say. Yes. "But don't they serve burritos and quesadillas and chips and queso and, GASP!, BACON?" Yes. But they also give us the Close Talker. The most glorious salad ever created. Yes, a salad. When I need something "else," something not made in my kitchen by me, that's my go-to. Here's what I put in mine...

6 oz. of chicken--the perfect portion

Shredded lettuce--you can eat your weight in this, but it makes for a nasty clean up so I don't suggest it.

cucumbers--again, eat as many as you want

a little bit of onion

black beans--one scoop will do

two scoops of salsa--not to be confused with pico de gallo--GROSS

Skip the shell and use the salsa as the dressing. It's 295 calories. That's it.

I've decided to try this recipe at home. Can't be too hard, right? So that's the plan for next week; I'll let you know how it goes.

Ok, we've eaten dinner, but what's the use of dinner without dessert? That's just craziness. So, in walks the Skinny Cow. Besides being the best name ever for a di--, er life change food, it will seriously make you argue with your husband for the last one in the box because it isn't fair that he eats them when he knows that they are for you to keep your sanity through this "life change" that can sometimes make you want down an entire carton of Edy's using a chocolate chip cookie as your spoon! Well, maybe that was just me. Anyway, you get the point. The stuff is good. Stupid good. And it's only 100 calories.

So far I've tried two flavors: French Vanilla (good) and Mint (bangin'!!). The hubby got the chocolate ones, which I won't like (I'm not a huge chocolate person; a trait that makes one of my closest friends, Courtney, wonder how we can be friends at all) so that's good. He can keep his paws off my mint!

So me and my friend Moe are going to help me become a Skinny Cow. Not that I'm a cow. But I do look good in black and white.

I ain't swimming, so what's up with the inner tube?

Ok, so here's the thing. I have, sniff, an inner tube. That's right, ladies, you've heard me right. Around my mid-section I have a ring, an inner-tube if you will, of extra weight that just sits there. Now if I could use it for something--say as the flotation device that it was clearly built for!--then I might not mind so much. But this is not the case. Not only does it not keep me from sinking, but it makes me more susceptible to tiring easily and thus, drowning! This is a serious situation!

In an effort to combat this growing problem (and it grows by the doughnut!) I have decided to take action. That's right, I have begun Operation Deflation. Get your war paint, ladies, it's on! My friend and co-worker, Sandra introduced me to a book that I think just might be the ammunition i need to take down my old foe. "Finding You Inner Skinny" is by Joy Bauer and I've been following her plan for about five weeks now.

Ask anyone--well, ask my best friend, Tiffany--and they will tell you that I don't read health books. I don't care how your garden grows and I certainly don't want to make things from it. That's why God sent us Chili's. And He saw that it was good. But the time had come to make some changes. And they were big ones. Did you know that you are only supposed to eat a cup of cereal? Really? A cup? Of cereal? I can eat a box of cereal! Ok, not really, but you see where this is going. Portion control. Control your portions, lose your tube. Oh and exercise. blech. But I'm doing it. And it's nothing crazy like eating only onions while standing on your head and pedaling like you're on a bike. Tried that diet...didn't work.

I'm down 14 pounds in five weeks. The tube has deflated a bit so that makes me very happy. And another plus...loss of back fat. But that sounds gross so I won't go there. But having my bra not feel like it will cut me in two every time I breathe has done wonders for my overall outlook on life. Well my outlook on bras anyway.

So by this summer I'm hoping to say, "bring on the biki..." well, scratch that. how about, "bring on the pool, but give me some floaties; this tube's too small to hold me up." :)