I know you're going to anyway, but don't laugh. This past Sunday, in a moment of pure curiousity (and, quite honestly, giddiness) I put my wedding dress on. Yep, sure did. I love that dress. and ever since it's been hanging in my closet not getting the love it deserves, i have wanted to put it back on and dance around the house.
Steven and I had just finished our morning pop tart and cereal, respectively, and he mentioned that I should try the dress on to see how diffierently it fits me since having lost some weight. It really would be the best piece of clothing i have to test such things. It's the only part of my wardrobe that has never been washed (Ok, don't judge me. One day I will get it cleaned and preserved. Promise.) or thrown in the dryer or worn repeatedly. I have shirts and pants that would never be considered true to size because they have been through the rigours of everyday life far too many times. Do you really think that shirt you've dried every week since you bought it a year ago is still a Medium? (Clearly, i'm talking to you. I own no such thing as a Medium.) Well, it ain't. But my wedding dress? Well, that's some seriously untouched fabric. The perfect template if you will.
I pulled the huge garment bag out of the spare bedroom closest and hoisted it over my shoulder to bring to our room. I unzipped the bag (well, the part that wasn't already torn open anyway. Thanks, David's Bridal. That much for a dress and you can't at least give me a bag that doesn't shred upon contact with feathers?) and out came all the ruffles, all the sparklies, all the girly giggling that I had the first day I put it on. I had to tell Steven (again) what it was like being there and finding that dress. (Big thanks to Tiff who told me to try it on even though it had all these features I swore I didn't want--ruffles, sparklies, sweetheart neckline) I stepped into the dress and turned to be laced up.
And it didn't fit. It just plain didn't fit. It was too big. Way too big. I'm a girl who is used to things being too small. And this was falling off of me! And there was no amount of tightening on Steven's part that would have made it work. Now I think I've established how much I love my wedding dress, but I could not be more thrilled that I can't wear it. It's not like i need it or have somewhere to go that a white, bridal gown, complete with train, would be called for. At least not at the moment.
For all my elation I also got a little down. Why? Well, it's like i asked Steven. Why didn't I do this sooner? I feel like there were all these things that I didn't enjoy to the fullest because of all this extra weight I was pulling around. I wondered aloud at how much better our wedding pictures would have been. Steven stopped me and said, "that's silly. our day way perfect; i wouldn't change a thing." And that's why I bought the big white dress, complete with sparklies and ruffles, and walked down the aisle to him.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Cheaters Never Win. Define Never.
I'm not sure if you've noticed but I've been hiding something from you. It's true. When I started this blog I promised myself that I would put it all out there when it came to my new healthier lifestyle. The good, the bad and the pudgy. It was going to be my motivation; a way to keep me accountable for what I've done. So when i started cheating a bit on my diet, i started posting fewer blogs. Lying by omission I guess. I might have (definitely did) left out (completely avoided) a few (all) of the less positive (bad, bad, bad) details of my last few weeks. And for this, i am sorry (kind of).
See, things were going so well that i didn't want to let you know that i had slipped a little. And at times, a lot. I gained some of my weight back and i did it pretty quickly. It freaked me out but not enough to stop me from my downward spiral. Those terrible foods that are oh-so-yummy called my name and wouldn't let me go. I ate Mexican (often), cookies, chips, things covered in cheese, things covered in grease, cookies (oh, did i mention those already?), and lots of other things that i had sworn off or at least had limited to once-in-a-while treats.
On top of this i stopped working out. See, it's hot outside. Like stupidly, humid hot. And when the thermostat gets set on Hades i have a hard time pushing myself to do anything that makes me voluntarily sweat. During the time of year when the short walk from my car to the house makes me feel sticky and rundown, all i want to do when i walk in the door is change into comfy clothes and cool down. Jumping on the elliptical is not a cool down type of activity. It's a sweaty one. And, dang it, i'm tired of sweating!!!
I guess my wake up call came when i went to put on a pair of pants that had gotten loose and realized that they were beginning to fit a little tighter. This was not the direction I was supposed to be going in. The scale was not supposed to be going up. I was letting myself down. I was cheating. And cheaters never win. Well mostly.
See, the thing is that I have cheated throughout this entire process. On the weekends I have allowed myself to indulge in things that I dare not touch during the week. Want a cookie? Sure. Have one. (O-N-E!!) Need to go eat Mexican on a Saturday night? Sure. Make that your big cheat meal for the weekend. This way has worked for me. I don't go cold turkey on things i love to have and by doing so i don't crave them all the time. I watch myself pretty closely throughout the week and then get to cheat a bit on the weekends. Or i substitute a weeknight for a weekend day. Either way i was still loosing weight. So cheaters can win. But when your cheating turns into your lifestyle, you lose. That's the difference. The cheating was taking over. And i've come to far to go back now.
So about a week and a half ago i got off my butt, threw my excuses out the window, and got back on track. I have worked out almost every day (most days getting up before work to do so) and have gone back to eating like I know what I'm doing. I've planned meals better, watched my portions, and sweat it out with a purpose. I've even added weights and crunches to my workouts. I'm serious about losing this weight. All of it.
I had a doctor's appointment last week and since March 1st, I've lost 35 pounds. So I've lost the extra I gained--thank goodness! There's no stopping me now and i promise that I'll tell the truth from now on. I might cheat here and there. But I promise you I'm still going to win.
See, things were going so well that i didn't want to let you know that i had slipped a little. And at times, a lot. I gained some of my weight back and i did it pretty quickly. It freaked me out but not enough to stop me from my downward spiral. Those terrible foods that are oh-so-yummy called my name and wouldn't let me go. I ate Mexican (often), cookies, chips, things covered in cheese, things covered in grease, cookies (oh, did i mention those already?), and lots of other things that i had sworn off or at least had limited to once-in-a-while treats.
On top of this i stopped working out. See, it's hot outside. Like stupidly, humid hot. And when the thermostat gets set on Hades i have a hard time pushing myself to do anything that makes me voluntarily sweat. During the time of year when the short walk from my car to the house makes me feel sticky and rundown, all i want to do when i walk in the door is change into comfy clothes and cool down. Jumping on the elliptical is not a cool down type of activity. It's a sweaty one. And, dang it, i'm tired of sweating!!!
I guess my wake up call came when i went to put on a pair of pants that had gotten loose and realized that they were beginning to fit a little tighter. This was not the direction I was supposed to be going in. The scale was not supposed to be going up. I was letting myself down. I was cheating. And cheaters never win. Well mostly.
See, the thing is that I have cheated throughout this entire process. On the weekends I have allowed myself to indulge in things that I dare not touch during the week. Want a cookie? Sure. Have one. (O-N-E!!) Need to go eat Mexican on a Saturday night? Sure. Make that your big cheat meal for the weekend. This way has worked for me. I don't go cold turkey on things i love to have and by doing so i don't crave them all the time. I watch myself pretty closely throughout the week and then get to cheat a bit on the weekends. Or i substitute a weeknight for a weekend day. Either way i was still loosing weight. So cheaters can win. But when your cheating turns into your lifestyle, you lose. That's the difference. The cheating was taking over. And i've come to far to go back now.
So about a week and a half ago i got off my butt, threw my excuses out the window, and got back on track. I have worked out almost every day (most days getting up before work to do so) and have gone back to eating like I know what I'm doing. I've planned meals better, watched my portions, and sweat it out with a purpose. I've even added weights and crunches to my workouts. I'm serious about losing this weight. All of it.
I had a doctor's appointment last week and since March 1st, I've lost 35 pounds. So I've lost the extra I gained--thank goodness! There's no stopping me now and i promise that I'll tell the truth from now on. I might cheat here and there. But I promise you I'm still going to win.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Yankee Doodle Went To Town...
It's that time of year again! Time for cookouts and gatherings and loud fireworks. Time for spreading your blanket on the nearest field and waving your flags. Independence Day is a pretty special holiday for Steven and me. Well, July 3rd anyway. It's when things kind of started for us. It was the beginning of the beginning, if you will. It meant enough that we have the word "fireworks" engraved in our wedding bands. And we have yet to miss a year. No matter what, we will be together for the 4th and we see some fireworks.
This year we went twice. On the 3rd we met up with Sabrina (who, by the way, was present for that first year Steven and I watched the fireworks together. She's a special part of our history that way.), her hubby, Jeremiah, and their new little one Harrison. My BFF Tiffany and her baby-daddy (well, fetus-daddy until October) came up and headed out to Wake Forest with us. We had a great time watching the show from the football field at Heritage High School. There was a band and parachuters and one of the best finales I have ever seen. Pictures from the night are below.
July 4th found us in Archer's Lodge, NC. Where you ask? It's that newly minted town right down the road from Clayton. You know, one of those tiny, blink and you'll miss it places. Or blink and get hit by a crazy person driving way too fast down Main Street after the fireworks were done and everyone was filing out of the little fields in droves!! The driver and Steven shared a lovely conversation. It was loud, heated and included a few bad words. You know, straight from the heart, Hallmark material stuff.
Mike and Mandy took their sweet baby girl, Addie, and she was a champ. The only thing that seemed to bother her was the slight delay between fireworks. Come to think of it, that was the only thing that bothered all of us. Addie was just a bit more vocal about it. After it was done we headed back to Mike and Mandy's for some ice cream sundaes. And the next day we didn't even have to go to work. How perfect is this holiday?!
July 4th found us in Archer's Lodge, NC. Where you ask? It's that newly minted town right down the road from Clayton. You know, one of those tiny, blink and you'll miss it places. Or blink and get hit by a crazy person driving way too fast down Main Street after the fireworks were done and everyone was filing out of the little fields in droves!! The driver and Steven shared a lovely conversation. It was loud, heated and included a few bad words. You know, straight from the heart, Hallmark material stuff.
Mike and Mandy took their sweet baby girl, Addie, and she was a champ. The only thing that seemed to bother her was the slight delay between fireworks. Come to think of it, that was the only thing that bothered all of us. Addie was just a bit more vocal about it. After it was done we headed back to Mike and Mandy's for some ice cream sundaes. And the next day we didn't even have to go to work. How perfect is this holiday?!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)